Online Therapy in IL, IN, and WI

Emotionally Focused Therapy

Helping you create a secure attachment with the person who matters most.

You've tried to get your partner to understand you, it just seems to be getting nowhere.

Or maybe you're nervous that constant fighting hurts the remaining connection…

Maybe you worry that if the relationship isn’t growing then you’ll slowly drift apart…

Noah is a steady and grounded person who feels worried and misunderstood in the relationship. He’s grown up learning that he provides and protects as the male figure in a relationship, but has begun to see that it frustrates his partner. He cares about his partner’s happiness and well-being, so when Emma comes to him with a problem he tries to fix things, but Emma blows up at him at tells him that he doesn’t understand her leaving Noah confused. He wants to be there for his partner, but he seems to just make things worse in the relationship. Rather than escalate things, Noah has learned to turn down the temperature by getting space, which makes Emma feel alone. There are no good options. Noah’s steady emotion is a blessing and a curse because it helps him stay calm, but it makes Emma feel shut out.

Emma is a playful and passionate person who feels anxious and alone in the relationship. She craves the presence and comfort of her partner but doesn’t know how to get it. She works hard for the relationship but chasing Noah only seems to push him further away leaving her feeling defeated. Emma grew up as an only child who was the focus of both her parent’s attention. She felt tremendously supported and loved, but also smothered and incapable at times. In her relationship with Noah, she feels swallowed up by the anxiety and insecurity she experiences when he abandons her in the moments she needs him most. Her vibrant and emotional expressiveness seemed to appeal to Noah at the start of the relationship but now it feels like he doesn’t want anything to do with her anymore.

You’re in a vicious cycle that distorts your good intentions into deadly messages.

EFT helps you…

Understand the negative cycle that keeps your relationship stuck
Discover what’s really going on beneath the surface of the relationship dance
Unite against that cycle and change the pattern of disconnection

Improve communication and create a lasting connection in the relationship

Feel heard, supported, and understood by the person who matters most to you
Equip your bond with a secure connection for present relief and future success

Schedule Free 20-Minute Consult

How EFT Works

1. Organize

Like a dance, your relationship is a pattern of moves that you and your partner perform. We’ll work together to map that dance, where you’re stepping on each other’s toes, and where you learned those moves.
2. Deepen

Once we understand the dance, we’ll look below the surface and bring your experience alive. We’ll will work with it right in the room where I can help you feel safe.
3. Share

I’ll help you share your experience and pain in a new way with your partner that draws them in rather than pushes them away. I’ll help your heart feel seen and heard.
4. Integrate

We’ll explore what those new moves and vulnerability feels like, so you can feel confident about the new dance of your relationship.
5. Celebrate

We’ll celebrate all you’ve accomplished and admire your new vulnerability in connection! It’s not easy, but it is worthwhile.

Meet Brandon

The pain you feel in your relationship isn’t a mystery; it’s a predictable pattern that can be changed.

I am a therapist who specializes in guiding you through the stuck places and patterns of your relationships.

I bring a safe, practical, and transparent approach to therapy. I’m especially skilled at walking between worlds, and I don’t run away from the painful and lonely places of life and relationships.

I love working with people who are open to change and curious about the experiences of others — they’re the ones who I see make the most progress in working with me.

FAQs About EFT

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) is a structured approach to couples therapy developed by Dr. Sue Johnson in the 1980s. It is based on attachment theory and focuses on improving the emotional bond between partners. The therapy aims to create secure emotional connections by helping partners understand and express their emotions in a healthy way. EFT has been shown to be effective in improving relationship satisfaction and emotional closeness, making it a widely used and respected approach in couples therapy.
- Focus on Emotions: EFT emphasizes the importance of emotions in shaping interactions and relationships. It helps partners identify, express, and understand their emotional experiences.
- Attachment Theory: The therapy is grounded in the idea that adult relationships are shaped by attachment needs. EFT seeks to create secure attachments by addressing fears of abandonment or rejection.
- Patterns of Interaction: EFT identifies and modifies negative patterns of interaction that create conflict and distance between partners. It helps couples recognize these patterns and replace them with positive interactions.
- De-escalation: Identifying negative interaction patterns and understanding the underlying emotions and attachment needs driving these patterns.
- Restructuring Interactions: Encouraging partners to express their needs and emotions more openly and respond to each other in a supportive way.
- Consolidation and Integration: Reinforcing new, healthier interaction patterns and preparing couples to continue using these strategies outside of therapy.
- Enhance Emotional Connection: Strengthening the emotional bond between partners.
- Improve Communication: Helping partners communicate their needs and emotions effectively.
- Increase Empathy and Understanding: Encouraging partners to understand and empathize with each other's experiences and emotions.
- Create Lasting Change: Developing skills and strategies to maintain a healthy relationship long-term.